Job and Friends

A letter of encouragement to the Bride, from Tiffany Adkisson.

I was recently going through the book of Job with my local church family and was deeply impacted by some things which I felt compelled to share here as an exhortation to you, the Bride of Christ. 

As I was reading Job’s encounters with his friends, I was struck by how, in the midst of his great suffering and loss, they tried to give explanations for his pain and suffering. Although some of their words could have been things gleaned from the Bible, they were wrong in all of their attempts to understand why Job was suffering. We KNOW it was because Satan, not God, had taken these things from him. It was not a result of sin. The Bible tells us Job was a blameless man. What they said was wrong, and we learn later that God rebuked Job’s friends. 

This reveals the importance of being slow to speak and slow to give an explanation to someone’s pain and suffering. To be very careful with our words, for their sake, but also out of fear and reverence of the Lord.

Recently, as we were finishing our discussion on Job, my Pastor said that in the beginning, Job’s friends got it right. But then they started to speak and get it wrong. The scriptures say;

“Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him. And when they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him. And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. 

And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.”

Job 2:11-13 ESV

In the moment of pain and sorrow, it is hard to see a person hurting. Sometimes we feel as though they have lost hope, perhaps all hope. So we want to bring encouragement. In these efforts, we can lose sight of the pain that is real and hurts. Our hearts are in the right place, but we miss this moment to meet and sit with them in their grief. Romans 12:15 says;

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” -ESV

We can glean from Jesus’s response to the death of Lazarus, when confronted with Mary’s grief. John 11:28-37 says;

“Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” 

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” 

Jesus wept.”

-John 11:32-38

”Jesus wept.” It has always impacted me that this is the shortest sentence in the Bible. Jesus met Mary in her grief. He had the hope she needed,(knowing that Lazarus would rise from the dead as He told His disciples and Martha beforehand). He could have shared this with her, but instead, in that moment, Jesus chose to meet her in her grief with weeping.

We may also have an answer of hope in our friend’s or family’s grief, but what may be needed in that moment is to sit with them in their mourning and real pain. 

This may be uncomfortable for many to do. I know it can be for me because I hate to see people hurting and have a tendency to want to bring encouragement. But encouragement is not always a spoken word, a problem fixed, or a pain relieved. Encouragement can come from a tear released, a peaceful presence, a warm hug, a listening friend, or a burden carried. 

My former Pastor summed it up perfectly one Sunday, saying that when we REJOICE with those who rejoice, it multiplies their JOY. When we mourn with those who mourn, it divides their sorrow as we help carry their burden. 

One last thing that I gleaned from looking at the account of Lazarus’s death was how the people received Jesus in that moment of suffering. 

Some could see Jesus’s weeping as evidence of His love, as it says, ”See how he loved him!” 

“But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying?” John 11:37:38 ESV

What stands out to me in this is that some will RECEIVE Jesus in their moment of sorrow as the One who weeps and sympathizes with them.

At the same time, it is also revealing of the tendency of the human heart for some to receive Jesus as, “if you are all-powerful, why didn’t you do something?” With offense in their heart and questioning, why didn’t you fix it?

It’s not that God cannot handle our questions or does not welcome them, but sometimes, in seeking the answer, we miss His heart for us in our moment of grief. That He cares, understands, and is near.

Whether we feel Him or not, He promises never to leave nor forsake us. He is ”near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm‬ ‭34:18‬ ‭ His promises are true and secure. 

Grief and sorrow are very real and painful parts of our lives. My prayer is that we will all find comfort in knowing that our God is present in our suffering. He is not distant, but is One who cares and loves us very much.  We can lean into His sympathy and welcome His embrace, receive comfort in our times of grief and minister the same to others.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4 ESV